today, i feel a bit better but lawrence will be at his grandmother hse at bukit batok n might be not staying with us anymore maybe isabella be staying there but i will miss them like lawrence make the hse very noisy n i use to it i really wan him to stay with but not the dog , now i feel very bad how i treat him in the past like that time i wan peace that time i slam the door n his finger come out n i nv inform mother n my mother scold me n she might be put the blame on me because of that... ... i feel like cry to God why he wan me to have this kind of living n even wonder wat is the reason... ... no matter how much i do for this family , my heart is always burden for it... ... i even cry to God during worship n asking him wat is the reason the reason he put me to this world and asking God for asking... ... like this the reason my mother could hate me and dont love me who can give me a answer for this???
